Mule

"If dad uses the word socialism at the dinner table he should know by now I"m going to stick up for Bernie Sanders, and if mom cant forgive me for getting argumentative than that's her problem, even if it was at Christmas Dinner. I just wanted to enjoy my meal!"

WIthout an intentional situational priority list we act like every opinion needs defending, every thought needs expressing, every need needs addressing, every value deserves the expected respect. Others should know, listen, give, accept.   We lose context. If we aren't particularly confrontational we can express those negative feelings as bitterness towards the other person or a loss of self-respect - why didn’t I stick up for myself?- but the focus is the same: Me me me me me. 

A great lesson of adulthood is we can’t have everything we want. We know it’s true when we are kids and what we want are toys but we forget when we are adults and what we want are healthy relationships.   Maybe dad should know better than to bring up Bernie. Or not. Maybe you are totally justified in mouthing off. Or not. Prioritizing and expressing only the most beneficial and kind actions, emotions, and opinions keeps us from holding others and ourselves to damaging and impossible standards. 

-Matt